Dear Readers,
With this blog, as with the others, I have prayed for clarity, for the truth to be written, for the light to shine boldly. I have spent hours thinking and writing, with many sleepless nights crying out to God asking- should I write this? As it seems necessary to speak about my experiences, I will share the specific events in my life that relate to GCC- looking to my time as a youth and then as a youth leader. I do not write these experiences to shame anyone, or to spew malice. It is not my intention to bash anyone. This is purely a blog speaking the truth of my life growing up at GCC. I write because I am burdened with sharing the truth about my experiences and I hold myself accountable to God alone for the words I write. You are not asked to feel anything for me. You are not asked to give me sympathy. You are only asked if you read these words to consider if they reflect experiences in your life or experiences you have heard others share. Take the time to consider and reflect. And when you come to your conclusion- please think critically if it is your own or if it is one that another has programmed you to think. I take great consideration knowing that I am called to speak the truth and I do so in love- love for my fellow man.
Some will read this and say “thank you” because they know, and have gone through the same or similar experiences. Others will read this and become angry because they feel that I am trying to hurt the body of Christ- that I am trying to lead unbelievers astray. It breaks my heart that anyone would think that I, as a believer, and the many other believers who are sharing their story would want anyone to be lead astray. We would never wish upon anyone the horror that hell is. The purpose in writing this blog is to call out the teaching and experiences that have been so harmful to many. It is to ask why leadership has been allowed to cause such turmoil- that they would purpose to treat their flock in such a manner. It is shameful that leadership has and continues to refuse to acknowledge the truth and ask for forgiveness.
It is the heart cry of every believer to evangelize and to share the good news of the Gospel. I’d like to share the Gospel here because maybe somebody will read it and it will click that what they’ve been searching for CAN be found: God loves us. In the beginning, God created the world. In that world, He created man and woman and called this creation very good. And there was a perfect relationship between God and man – with Adam and Eve. And for a time that perfect relationship was sustained. But then, the serpent entered and tempted, and both Adam and Eve ate of the fruit they were told not to. At that moment, sin entered the world, and through it, all humanity became sinners. At that moment, there was division between God and man, because God is holy and just and He cannot allow sin. What then can we do? In and of ourselves, we can do nothing. We are not holy, and we cannot save ourselves. But God is rich in His grace and mercy, and He made a way for us through Christ’s redemptive work on the cross. Christ was born of the virgin, Mary. He lived a sinless life and was sentenced to death on the cross. On the cross, He paid the ultimate sacrifice- experiencing the full wrath and rejection of God for the sin of the world. He was buried in a grave, but Christ gloriously rose again on the third day, conquering sin and death. Because of God’s great love for His creation, He made a way for His beloved to find relationship with Him. All that He asks is that you come- recognizing and confessing your sin and acknowledging that it is only through Christ that you can have a right relationship with God. There is no confusion. There is no deception. There is no complexity. The truth of the Gospel is simple- come. If you haven’t experienced the overwhelming love and beautiful nature of communion with God yet, what are you waiting for? Let today be that day- because I know He will change your life, just as He has done so for mine.
I have decided to share some of my experiences: teachings that have misrepresented scripture, and standards people have made that hold no Biblical basis. Additionally I will share about youth camps and bike trips. Before I dive into the events that so shaped my youth, I do have some questions I need to ask. When it comes to the public interactions with persons who still attend GCC and don’t make conversation awkward, why is it that their default question is “ where are you attending church now?”? This is said practically at the beginning. What happened to how are you doing? Or what have you been up to? Why does where I choose or don’t choose to attend church such a big, seemingly important deal to them? Why is that more important than addressing the issues- the experiences that have been so damaging? I would ask that anyone who does ask such a question to check the motives of their heart- whether it is a genuine interest or because they want to gather information. When people who have left are asked this question, it is understood that the person asking is deliberately fishing for information that they can return to leadership, who in turn, use the information in whatever manner they wish.
Additionally, why is it that when you try to speak the truth in love, people get angry with you? Perhaps it is because they feel called out? Perhaps it is because they feel guilty about something they have done? But perhaps, most importantly, it is because the person they worship (and I’m not talking about God) is being called out for sin? The responses from the leadership and congregation still at GCC are so confounding to me: on the one hand they encourage love and respect. On the other, they condemn the abused and accuse the truth tellers. They say that the truth being shared is preventing unbelievers from hearing the gospel. If you are in a cult, where everything is controlled, will you hear a clear presentation of the gospel? You cannot have it both ways. You cannot proclaim the name of Christ and then asperse and disparage the ones who are calling out sin. The letter written to the congregation regarding the report is wrong. In addition to the blatant lies recorded and the disregard for proper use of logic definitions, the writer of the letter chose to purposefully include the congregation in the letter when that never existed in the report, as was previously mentioned in Pam Krahwinkel’s post. There was never any targeting of the congregation- we only see victims when we consider the congregation. The language of the letter is used to intimidate, bully, and silence the congregation into believing all is well. However, all is not well. There is a reason people are coming forward to share their testimony of events that have happened and seem to be continuing to happen to many more people. There are reasons for calling out the leadership at GCC. The calling out is to prevent future abuse. The calling out is to open peoples’ eyes to real experiences and harmful teaching. The calling out is so that the name of Christ is not marred by a self-righteous leadership group. We live in a watching world and if you don’t believe that, you are fooling yourself. Every person in your life is looking to see whether your actions match your words and vice-versa. What is going on at GCC cannot be allowed to continue because the leaders are not aligning what they say with what they do. Think about your experiences. Was there ever a time that what was said did not match the actions? If you called out the difference, were you given a “satisfactory explanation”? I truly love the people at GCC. But, do not mistake love for trust. While I love the leaders at GCC, I don’t trust them- how could I when trust was broken so many times and in so many ways?
My family and I have endured being lied to by the leadership. I have been lied to by close friends in the youth. I have had private letters written to one of the close friends be shared with persons to whom I did not give that permission. I have endured many sleepless nights and humiliation wondering what was wrong with me that I couldn’t be so righteous and popular. I continue to work through teachings from both individualized classes and the pulpit that so confused my way of thinking about topics like marriage, love and obedience. In HOV, we were told in the Bible portion, by a deacon’s wife, that there were certain things you had to do in order to maintain a peaceful marriage. Among those being that you had to participate, at least 3 times a week, in sex with your husband- whether you felt like it or not. Because, it is your job to satisfy him and that takes precedence over how you are feeling- both physically and emotionally. Further on in the teaching, she stressed the need to stay in the relationship, even if it is physically, verbally, emotionally, and sometimes spiritually abusive, because, if your husband is not saved, you would not want to see him end up in hell, would you? This was being told to girls 15 and 16 years of age. So, while having a limited sex education, or none at all being possible, you were taught to engage in sex regardless of physical or emotional state, and allow abuse for the sole sake of winning the man to Christ. My thoughts on this are too many for a blog format, but WHAT? I state again, the age was 15-16 year old girls. We were taught that physical, verbal, emotional, and sometimes spiritual abuses are to be tolerated in the marriage. In any other setting, sanctuary is sought out for abuse victims. Here, in these teachings, abuse is embraced. Even the lead teaching elder’s wife came to the class to retell a true life story of a woman- who she had interaction with- living in a horrifically abusive marriage. I have had to look at my own life, and remove the blinders that would prevent me from noticing if I am being abused. This has only come since my leaving GCC. I have had to wonder if I get married- will that be my future? How can they justify that abuse is a seemingly commonplace occurrence in marriage? If it is taught because it is common in their own lives and marriages, my heart breaks for them, because God did not design marriage to be abusive. His relationship with His children is not abusive, but loving. Marriage is supposed to be a reflection of Christ and His church. Would Christ ever choose to abuse His bride? MAY IT NEVER BE! We are given Song of Solomon for a reason. Think about it- are there age or relationship status restrictions at the beginning of the book? Is there any “warning label” for “explicit content” that Solomon wrote? In case you want the short answer- it is NO. If we can have 65 books of the Bible taught on- including ones that talk about abominations like Sodom and Gomorrah- why leave out one book? Why is it that leadership is so afraid to discuss a book that talks about the wonderful aspects of marriage? What scares them so? Is it because they don’t fully understand what the book is about? God includes Song of Solomon in Canon for a reason. The pages of Song of Solomon do not include any reference to marriage being abusive. In fact, the opposite is true- it is one of the most loving passages in Scripture. The beloved have a back and forth conversation about each other and the qualities and physical attributes they admire and the sexual connection they share. When they are apart, they long to be together. When they are together, they are one. It does not have to be complicated. It does not have to be messy. It does not have to be abusive. Because, marriage isn’t designed to be abusive. It is designed to be mutually loving, mutually sacrificial, and mutually beneficial.
I bring this up because open and frank discussions on the physical aspects of marriage, including sex, are not included in any sermons. In fact, sex is relegated to physical intimacy and as I mentioned above, not everyone in the youth had a solid sex education. For myself, I barely understood what puberty was. No one is properly informed of what marriage actually looks like and what it includes. There are ways to teach these topics age-appropriate and it does not have to be done in mixed groups- though again, there are no age or gender restrictions to any of the Scriptures or their topics. The evidence of this gap comes from a comment told to me when I was 13. Until my mid-teens, I had very close guy friendships and among those was a guy about my age. I considered him a brother- just as I did every other guy friendship- even though we had only known each other a few years. I guess because of the closeness of the relationship, he felt comfortable sharing this with me. He had told me in a passing comment that he had a porn addiction. At the time, I didn’t even know what porn meant, so I just filed that under something I needed to pray about it. It wasn’t till later in my teens I found out what it meant and was mortified that a leader’s son would so casually share such a thing with a girl.
Additional evidence of the lack of teaching comes in how the youth group was managed. We were taught to not get too close, both physically and emotionally, to the opposite sex. This included not being able to sit by them on car trips to summer camps or even the tram ride from the car to the amusement park. If you did, you were told to disembark and resituate so that it was the same sex in each row. Yet you were allowed to sit next to each other during sermons or on a coaster and you could be in the same group at the various activities. There was no consistency with the invisible rules we were all expected to follow. On the same token, in youth you were told by the head teaching elder to look to your right and look to your left, and that one of the boys or girls that you looked at would be your future spouse. That 99% of you would be married to someone in that room. First of all- bold statement to make when you don’t know what the future holds (unless you do). Second, you can imagine my confusion when it came to guy friendships. I wasn’t allowed to be attracted to or even sit next to any of the guys, but I was also going to be married to one of the guys in the future. Because of this management style, I lost the friendships that meant so much to me when I turned dating-age. And, a side note: the only expectations given for a young man to marry were that he must attend church- specifically Grace and affiliates, and also that he profess Jesus as Lord. While admirable, where is the more? Does love not have a role in marriage? Is it reduced to just a feeling, and not an action? How does that set you up to have a successful marriage if you are not expected or allowed to have rich friendships with guys? The same went for the guys- at least from my understanding. This rule was also one that could be a give and take depending on the popularity of the teen and the whim of the leader. You were also left with an expectation that you would have to start having kids right after you got married. What happened to the privacy and intimacy of marriage? Does it go out the window when relationships are controlled or manipulated? All of this was occurring during the period of each youth’s’ life when their emotional state and hormones are on a roller coaster- no pun intended. And the leaders know that, because they were teens once themselves. By the time I left GCC, I didn’t know what to think about men, about marriage, about relationships, about life. What I was left with was fear. Fear that I would end up in abusive relationships. Fear that I wouldn’t be good enough for anyone. Fear that because I had left the church, any chance of a good marriage would be futile- because I wouldn’t be a part of the 99%.
For my time at GCC, I noticed there was a trend of many young people who knew a lot about the Bible, but didn’t necessarily do anything with it. You take a bunch of teens who have been heavily saturated in seminary teaching and you don’t do anything with them. They have a lot of head knowledge, but few who actually have heart knowledge and are born again believers. I participated in many evangelism implosion weeks during my time in youth ministry and this thought hadn’t dawned on me till recently: there’s a high likelihood that some of the teens going on these events were not saved. In fact, it was mentioned from the teaching times that with this number of people there’s a high probability that at least one person wasn’t saved. So, what do you do? You provide a lengthy pamphlet with sections and verses cover to cover and you send these teens out into the “unbelieving” streets of Maryville and you command them to fulfill the great commission. Please, do not mistake what I am saying: I believe evangelism should be our highest calling and that it starts in the home. What I am saying is asked in a question: if you take an unbeliever who does not understand the gospel (please reference paragraph 3) and their life hasn’t been transformed yet, how do you expect the Gospel to go forth? How will the blind lead the blind? Answer- they can’t. For my experience, I did not have any persons come in through the doors, find me, and thank me for the door-to-door meeting we had. If others did, I rejoice that something coherent came forth from the muddled tract.
Another area I was (and still am) curious about is discipleship. Where did it go? Was it ever there? There was little to no discipleship during my time at GCC. Yes, we had small groups. Yes, we had prayer groups. But where was the end result? A lot of ministries get started, but they don’t continue. In HOV, we had a project labeled Personal Improvement Project (PIP). While in theory, this project sounds like a great idea- fleshing it out does not always work. For my time working on PIP, every weekly meeting felt like it was a discussion of my faults and sins from the previous week. There was not joy in the meetings. There was not celebration. There was not encouraging conversation. I just felt defeated week after week for the weakness I could not seem to shake. I longed to have someone I could fully open up to, share my struggles and my joys, but in the PIP, I could not do so. I did not have the confidant I knew I could trust with everything because I feared judgment and condemnation. I cannot speak to every girls’ PIP experience because I do not know each one. I can only speak to what I have lived through and what I have seen. I always wondered, if there is a class for girls, why isn’t there one for boys? If the ladies are called to grow and change and transform, should not the men do so also? Or, is Nerf wars on the weekends the true idea of a man’s man? It is such a shame that there seemed to be the potential to have solid discipleship groups, but because everything had to be controlled, many plans got dropped through the cracks or they got started and were not continued to completion. Is that how we are supposed to treat our relationship with Christ- something to start that does not have an end goal? In my life, I am certainly looking forward to the end goal!
If you were told that the youth group is the best because there are no such things as cliques there, you were lied to. Every human being has a bias one way or another and it was common in the GCC youth group for cliques to occur. Unlike in public school, cliques at GCC depended on the external righteousness of the individual. The more holy you appeared, the higher your standing. That meant that the ones that didn’t show the right amount of righteousness, or the ones that weren’t heavily involved, or the ones that didn’t have seemingly external attractive qualities were ignored, bullied and abandoned. Even as I am writing this, I realize the shallowness and cruelty of saying this. How is it allowed that fellow man be treated in such a way? Christ did not shun the “unpopular” ones. Instead, He embraced and saved them. And they faithfully followed Him. The ones that showed external righteousness- the Pharisees, scribes and religious leaders- wanted nothing to do with Jesus. So, what happens when you focus on external righteousness? You don’t focus on Christ because you are too busy wondering what other people think of you and if you are showing off rightly. And that is what the youth were taught- so what else were we supposed to believe? We didn’t know any better, but the leadership should have. And that is the sad truth- manipulation to meet an end goal. If the whole goal of leading people is to keep them weak, spoon-fed, and reliant on the leaders’ teaching alone, the only conclusion that can be drawn is that makes the congregation dependent on something, most often the leader. This allows for the leaders to have inflated egos. This allows for the cycle of abuses to continue. We are speaking out to end the cycles of abuse. To break free from the restraints that hold people captive. We are set free from the bondage of sin- why would we willing want to be put in bondage again? The only answer is that we do so unwillingly and unknowingly. Any persons who did question what the leadership was teaching or promoting- were shut down and put on the unofficial bad congregant list and labeled a trouble-maker.
It took quite a few years of studying God’s word to know what God truly says about love, life, and marriage. I was able to see that my future, whatever it held, might not be a scary as I was taught to believe. That the future I thought would be so bright, so full of joy, and so loving would still be possible. I know that this world can be abusive- yes. I know that there will be some moments that are bitter. I know that life can be cruel, but I know that my God is never cruel. I know that my God is the one holding me and sustaining me. And I know that He will work all things out for my good. The truth of my experiences at GCC is that I would not be the person I am today if I hadn’t experienced what I did. I do not say this lightly, but I would not change my past. I will say that because of my experiences, I am wiser to the deception of control, abuse and manipulation portrayed by the leadership. And I am thankful that I can be used by God to help open other peoples’ eyes to control, abuse or manipulation they may be beginning to recognize. And I also know that the future can be bright and is bright because of my King. Leaving GCC was the easiest and hardest decision of my life. Easy because all I did was walk out the doors. Hard because I had relationships that leadership severed purposefully and that severing continues to this day. When I left, I did not know the truths of the Word and I was left to deconstruct what I thought was truth and discover that it was error. I have had to work through discerning truth from error and I am stronger today because of it. What I have gained in the years since is so sweet I wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world. My prayer life has grown deeper and my Bible reading and studying has increased. And, I have discovered that there are more than one or two good churches in the area. GCC and affiliates do not hold a monopoly on God’s love, His generosity, or the Bible. I no longer choose to live in fear because God did not call us to have a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, of self-control. He also allows us freedom in Christ. It wasn’t until a few years ago, I learned that we have freedom in Christ. Freedom from the bondage of sin. Freedom from the grip of temptation. Freedom from death. In Christ, we are adopted into the family of God, called His children, and transformed by Christ’s redemptive work and righteousness. We no longer have the spiritual chains around our ankles. We no longer have the shame and guilt and condemnation hanging over our heads. Why should we dwell on the negative- when the positive is so rich and fulfilling we need nothing else? I am still working through the self-judgement I was conditioned to dwell on and I know that when I choose to repent, let go, and move on, everything about my life becomes richer and deeper. If you feel trapped in a cycle of self-judgement and there seems to be no escape- there is an escape. Christ is there holding out His hand- ready to pull you up out of the pit, plant your feet on solid ground and have you cling to the solid rock. If you feel despair, cry out to God and He will answer you- do not wallow in the judgement because God does not. When sin is confessed, it is removed as far as the east is from the west. In case you don’t quite understand what that means, these two directions never meet. When sin is forgiven, it is removed and remembered no more.
When leadership speaks of providing safety for the church, I ask where is the safety? In addition to the numerous building concerns, what about the safety of the youth group? I have participated in many summer camps and each one has its own concerns. DC- I went twice. On one trip, we were out in the city past 9:00 PM- so you can imagine it was pretty dark out. We were invited to join in on a mile run to the train that would take us to the cars to get back to camp. We did not make it back to camp till 10:30 or later and many of us still had to shower before bed. Also, for these camps, and for the others as well, we were limited on what we could eat. One particular day, we were out in the city with a lunch-able, a sandwich, a bottle of water, an apple and maybe a granola bar. We weren’t told until lunchtime that what we brought was to be split between lunch and dinner. At that point, some of the boys had already eaten both “entrees”. Unless you had money, or could borrow from someone else, you wouldn’t be able to get any more food until back at camp- if it was available- or breakfast the next day. Also, eating any form of meat or cheese after it had been sitting on your back for four hours in the 90+ degree heat- beyond the definition of gross. Not only did we have a lot of teenage boys on the trips, but your physical development grows and changes the most during your teen years. Depriving nutrients and calories during a physically intense, sun blazing summer week is not only cruel, but wrong- especially if it’s under the guise of sanctification. What about the safety of the teens? Missouri trip, the girls’ side of the camp building- where we slept- the A/C unit was struck by lightning the week prior- meaning the girls spent a week in 85+ degree rooms while the boys were living in comfort at 75 degrees or less. Was leadership notified prior to coming of the conditions? Were alternatives looked into or even made to ensure everyone had an equally pleasant trip? I guess, again, this was for the girl’s sanctification. The irony being that the youth leader was able to be on the boys side with the A/C. Is then, chivalry truly dead?
For at least the Georgia and North Carolina camps, we had two medical emergencies that required medical attention and the lead teaching elder hesitated to make a needs-based quick decision. For Ohio, we endured a torrential rain storm and threat of tornado. The lead teaching elder again hesitated- having us stay in our tents instead of getting everyone to the shelter of the vehicles- since it was only “a little rain” in the forecast. Many of the tents had rain on the inside with the stuff soaked, including clothes and sleeping bags. My tent had a river running through it and everything I had was dripping water. If it were not for a brave parent observing the reluctance of the lead teaching elder and calling us out of our tents and getting us to the safety of the cars, the night could have ended a lot worse. The ladies running the KOW and a few male leaders were superheroes and laundered our stuff early the next day so that the rest of the week wasn’t miserable with the physical issues of wearing wet clothes. This was also the camp where there was an outside couple that was trying to sneak around our campsite. Again the lead teaching elder did nothing. The same brave parent, who was a part of the U.S. military, noticed the couple and alerted a state trooper, who just happened to be nearby, to the issue. If it was not for this courageous parent who joined us on these trips, we would have had medical emergencies go unnoticed, weathered out a thunderstorm in a flimsy mesh tent while being under threat of tornado, and I don’t even fathom to guess what that couple was up to. This parent has also done many other wonderful things throughout our trips that I may never fully know. Everyone in his family was heavily involved with most of the ministries going on. Many of the families that have left GCC have been just as involved with ministries, activities and events. To see how each family has been treated after all the good they did- it is a travesty to say the least. And what many readers may be misinformed on is the way leadership has manipulated and lied about these families’ exit. You were told that the ones leaving didn’t want to be contacted or they were apostate. Since only the leaderships’ voice is heard, you were only getting one side to the story. Now, you are reading the other side and you are reading the truth.
For North Carolina, we were not properly informed by the lead teaching elder (who was aware of the dangers having been informed by at least two rightly concerned parents) of the dangers of the water at the National White Water Rafting Center- not just the inherent dangers of participating in rafting on white water with a concrete base and hazards. The danger I am speaking to especially is the incidence of water contamination by a brain eating amoeba that caused the death of an 18 year old girl, days prior to our arrival. While knowing the danger, the lead teaching elder was among the first to raft in contaminated waters.The amoeba in question is the Naegleria fowleri- the culprit for a rare but almost always fatal brain infection. This infection is called primary amebic meningoencephalitis (PAM). This particular infection has a survival rate of 2%- meaning 98% of infections are fatal. The beginning symptoms include: headache, fever, nausea and vomiting. These symptoms generally appear 5 days after infection, but can begin between 1 and 12 days of exposure. These symptoms are similar to illnesses like bacterial meningitis. Once symptoms have started, PAM progresses at a rapid rate. During the progression, the symptoms ramp up to include: stiff neck, confusion, inattention to people and surroundings, seizures, hallucinations and coma- with the ultimate outcome being death for 98% of patients.
The above information regarding the amoeba and the symptoms are found on the CDC website- available for anyone to read. These symptoms are a lot of things, but the one thing they are NOT is symptoms consistent with a week long excursion through the elements, riding coasters and outdoor sleeping. I understand that there are times when accidents happen and sometimes you are not informed of the danger. In this case, the lead teaching elder was aware and chose to ignore. This is WRONG! I do not care if something has the tag of being considered “rare”. Rare does not equal silly or not dangerous. Rare does not equal unimportant. Rare does not allow for negligence. The danger was real. The consequences were very real and very tragic. The reward of white water rafting does not and will not outweigh the risk of death. Where is the concern for safety on these trips? Where is the provision for safe alternatives? Where is the love for fellow man? Something that got thrown around a lot in the youth was that we must completely trust in God’s sovereignty. I understand God’s sovereignty and I also know He gave us brains to use. God’s sovereignty should not be used as justification for allowing dangerous situations to occur when they can easily be prevented. If the leaders cannot stand up and care for the teens in the same way that God cares for His children, but rather turn a blind eye to the issues at hand, they do not deserve the positions they are in. The teens endure sleep deprivation, lack of nutrients, lack of hydration, demanding physical activity and grueling weather conditions. All of which can be avoided if leadership had not been so tightly holding the noose of sanctification through unnecessary trial and jam-packing a schedule where you can’t even breathe.
Safety also did not seem to be a major concern for the bike trips that several of the youth were involved in. In addition to the physical exhaustion of cycling 200-250 miles in four days, there were also weather issues-incompatible with tent camping-, dangerous main roads (such as 321 and the Dragon to name a few), and limited (or none) bathroom stops along the route appropriate for women. At one lunch stop, we used an abandoned house construction for our shelter. There was a porta-potty on the premises and the girls were told they could use it. This suggestion was of course offered by a male, and none of us used it. The positives to the trips were that food and drink was not withheld (unlike camps) since we needed the calories for fuel and we did get free time to be kids and have fun- with music, card games, and exploring.
We are not asking for retribution. What we are asking for is accountability from the leadership. Accountability for the lies they have said. Accountability for the safety they have ignored. Accountability for the lives they have abused. When you give your kids the permission to go on any youth trips, you do so in good faith that the leaders, especially the head teaching elder who is head leader over trips, take care of your kids and treat them as Christ did- with love and compassion. Instead, every youth participated in events that threatened their safety, and in some cases, their lives. The good faith you sent your children with was broken, many times over. And oftentimes, you were not aware of the break. Especially if your kids were conditioned by youth meetings to not share everything about their lives with their parents. One major example of this was when the head teaching elder decided to use overbearing and public humiliation as a form of discipline- especially when it was not needed as there was no behavior to justify this level of psychological warfare. He would require it of male teens to stick by his side during the trip if they did anything the elder felt was sin and needed punishment. Not only is this style of “discipline” cruel, it is wrong. No child should ever be treated in such a way, especially if the parents were unaware that such liberties had been taken by the head elder. Additionally, the head elder decides what information is shared with the church regarding each trip- often, you’ll find mitigating information regarding the safety issues endured on the trip. Any letters sent to the congregation regarding the trip wrap up need close inspection on who actually received the letters. Interesting how certain people seem to be excluded from the list. And who are the excluded ones? These are the people that spoke up about concerns on the trips and were shut down by the head elder. These people were excluded because they would have called out the lie or mitigation said by the head elder. These are the ones labeled as dissenters. If you received any such letter, you would never know that anything went wrong because information was so tightly controlled and manipulated to fit the standard of the head elder. What you end up seeing is the shiny, happy, smiling faces (reference to Prime Documentary on Gothard Cult) on the end of trip videos. You never see the tears, the scrapes, the bruises, the heartache. This is never the parents’ fault- they never knew. It is the leadership who has ignored standard safety protocol that is even acknowledged by the unbelieving in the world.
A final topic that is important to talk about is the nature of gossip. Because there is confusion on what actually entails gossip, I have provided the true definition of gossip. Gossip is defined as a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others. An additional definition includes gossip as a rumor- information or opinion that is widely disseminated without any authority or confirmation of accuracy (Sourcing comes from Merriam-Webster Dictionary Online). While I attended GCC, there was a lot of true gossip going around, even though there were sermons designed specifically to discourage such behavior. What I present in this blog is not sensationalized gossip. It is fact, proven over and over with multiple witnesses. The sermons on gossip, or any other sin for that matter, were flawed because they were used to target specific people in the congregation the lead teaching elder felt needed to be called out. Why wasn’t leadership getting called out for doing the same thing? Was the congregant really in sin or was a definition of a word redefined to suit and satisfy the power control of the leaders? How many times have the meanings of words been changed to do just that? If you really think about it, the more you’ll see that meanings of words have been redefined. How is it that gossip is thoroughly condemned from the pulpit and openly rampant among leadership? How is it allowed to continue? Heavy hitting questions I would like to know the truth about. The pulpit is supposed to be a place of truth, healing, and celebration- sharing the amazing words of Scripture and shining a light in a dark place. I write these words as an outcry to end the cycle of abuses and lies and for transformation to take place. When will the harm and destruction end? Please Lord, let it be soon.